Delia's Den

Shutting Down the Den

noreply@blogger.com (Delia) — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 05:15:00 +0000

Shutting Down the Den

I've been posting my journal entries here and reposting over at the blog for my new site for quite some time now in anticipation of the shift. And, well quite frankly I'm getting sick of it. So this will be my last official DeliaCD post. The blog itself isn't going anywhere. It will remain up as an archive. You can continue to follow me there and switch any links you might have over when you get a chance. See you over at the new blog!!! Goodbye blogger - I'm going to miss you!

http://DeliaTS.com/blog

Shifting Gears

noreply@blogger.com (Delia) — Fri, 22 May 2009 20:32:00 +0000

Shifting Gears

I've been feeling a little shift in gears in my transition recently. Kind of like I'm settling into it a bit. Like when you hit cruising gear after accelerating for awhile. Or maybe it's just 2nd or 3rd gear or something.

Once again this year Trixie and I attended a local transgender conference. The past two years we've only been able to be there for the weekend. We also were one of the couples on a panel discussion on TG relationships. This year it was just us and one other couple, a female to male (FTM) transsexual and his female partner. It was interesting to hear things from the other perspective, especially the shift in sexual identity within the couple. In some ways it was a reversal of what we are going through as a couple. Although Trixie and I both identify as pansexual/omnisexual so I don't think our own sexual identities have really shifted much. The way we are perceived as a couple by society has shifted though from a hetero couple to lesbian, the exact opposite of what the other couple was going through.

I also attended a great little workshop while we were there on feminizing your voice with Kathe Perez. Kathe is a Speech-Language Pathologist who specializes in voice feminization. I did a one on one session with her too later in the day which was really cool. Nice to get some feedback and a few tips and pointers as well as some take home exercises. She has a CD series, Fundamentals of Your Feminine Voice, that I picked up while I was there also. I haven't made my way through the whole set yet but it seems like it has some pretty good tips and exercises. I think it's really going to help me focus on the the areas I need to improve in order to have a more natural feminine sounding voice. Eventually I would like my singing voice to have a feminine ring to it too. I haven't been playing my guitar much lately because everytime I start to sing something my male voice comes through and it just sounds weird to me and freaks me out a little.

Speaking of things that are natural and feminine . . . my boobs seem to really be starting to shape up. This picture and the one up top are from my latest members update. There are some really beautiful shots in this set. We took them right around sunset so they have a nice warm glow to them :-)

Sheer Panty Pr0n

noreply@blogger.com (Delia) — Sun, 10 May 2009 02:29:00 +0000

Sheer Panty Pr0n

I love seeing the different layers, colors, and textures in this picture.

I know that at least a few of my fans really enjoy sheer panties both on me and on themselves. I must admit I do love the seeing a soft or semi hard she cock clearly visible through a pair of sexy sheer panties. Here's another little sample from this weeks members update.

I've been really good lately about getting my weekly updates done and posted consistently every Saturday. I've actually been starting to get ahead a bit on some of my content lately which means I should have time to work on a few other projects that I've been putting off for so long. I'm also looking forward to doing a few outside shoots some time soon now that the weather is a bit nicer.

In transition news, I got my lab results back from my last visit to the doctor. Both my testosterone and estradiol levels are now within normal female range. My testosterone is still a bit on the high side but I still haven't had any real problems achieving or maintaining erections. Plus overall I'm pretty happy with the feminizing effects hormones are having on my body and mind. My breasts are still growing and are still pretty sore and get a little itchy sometimes. So I'm going to be continuing on my same dosage. I'll re access things in about 6 months.

Portland Trip

noreply@blogger.com (Delia) — Sun, 26 Apr 2009 19:35:00 +0000

Portland Trip

Well we had a pretty good trip down to Portland last week. I was hoping to shoot again with Mandy but she was out of town (missed her by one day). I was also hoping to shoot with Krissy but she got sick and had to cancel. But I did get a clean bill of health from my Doc, which is the whole reason we were down there in the first place. We were also able to get caught up on some more solo content. We shot 3 videos and 4 picture sets, including the schoolgirl pics from above, while we were there. So we made pretty good use of our time.

Every time we've been down to Portland I always wish we had more time to just hang out and explore. I think we probably would have done a bit more of that but my back started acting up. It's been feeling much better lately but I think walking around and standing on the hard concrete irritated it a bit. I think I also have a hard time relaxing when I know I could/should be doing work related things. It's really hard for me to keep it all separated sometimes.

Interview with Caramel

noreply@blogger.com (Delia) — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 01:56:00 +0000

Interview with Caramel

I recently did an interview with Caramel from Caramel's Tgirls. I'm not sure when the first time that I came into contact with Cara was. I think it might have been through a Yahoo group or Yahoo360. Anyway, she has always been really supportive and has been an active affiliate promoting our sites for years now. So be sure to take a look at the interview if you are interested and keep an eye out for more great interviews from her in the future.

I also wanted to make a quick mention here about a book that an acquaintance of mine just released: Understanding Transgender People by Claire Ruth Winter. I met Claire a few years ago at a transgender conference and had the privilege to attend a few of the lectures she was presenting. Though I haven't read the book yet, I'm sure that with her wit, charm and insight it will be a great read.

Getting Sprung

noreply@blogger.com (Delia) — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 01:05:00 +0000

Getting Sprung
Here's a little sample from my latest set of pics. The full gallery of 177 pics is now availible in my members area. I'll also be adding video this weekend. Some really hot toy play that you won't want to miss!

Spring is definitely in the air around here. On Monday I got another laser hair removal treatment on my face and neck area. On the way back home Trixie and I stopped at a nursery and pick up a few nice showy plants for our little planter boxes out front. We also found a special herb that we've been trying to find for awhile now, Perilla. It's used a lot in Vietnamese and Japanese cooking in rolls and salads. It really is delightful.

Monday was a pretty wet and cold day, in fact we even got a little snow on the way down. But today the sun finally decided to shine, and we were able to get out and plant. We even had a little lunch outside on our deck. I also mowed the lawn for the first time this season. I love the smell of fresh cut grass. The hummingbirds have been putting on their little displays the past few weeks now too. It finally feels like spring is here.

I'm going in to get my hair done tomorrow. I think I'm going to go a little lighter with the color, bring in a little more blonde. I'm also doing a cam show tomorrow and Friday so be sure to come by and see how it turns out.

My Tits, My Back

noreply@blogger.com (Delia) — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 21:07:00 +0000

My Tits, My Back

A few weeks ago I did something not so good to my back. I'm not sure exactly what I did to cause it. I think I may have tweaked it a little when I was shooting a POV video of Trixie giving me a blow job. I tried doing some stretching later on and I think I may have over twisted or something only making it even worse. Our soft and sagging mattress didn't help things either. I was waking up in the middle of the night in pain and having to get up and lay on the floor in sleeping bag with my legs propped up. I finally got a sheet of 3/4" plywood and slid it in between the mattress and the box spring. That helped a lot. I've been doing a lot of light stretching and taking things pretty easy lately and I'm feeling a lot better.

The whole ordeal made me feel old and feeble. It really made me appreciate what it must be like elderly with all the aches and pains. It's funny how having your mobility limited can effect you mentally. It really put me into a bit of a funk.

I was a little bummed out the last time I went in for my laser treatment. They had a new esthetician there who actually worked at the old place I went to. So the treatment wasn't nearly as good as the first time I went. I made sure to request the same person who did it before for my next appointment coming up next week.

On the boobage front things seem to be going quite well. My breasts are continuing to grow and are still pretty sore. My areolas are looking noticeably bigger. I did end up taking my nipple rings out after going back and forth on it for so long. It is nice to be able to feel nipples without any metal in the way. Trixie has been enjoying them also. It feels incredible when she sucks on them and plays with them when we're having sex.

This is actually the last set of pictures I did with my nipple rings in. The full gallery is now available in my Members Area. I also posted a new video update for my Trans Vlog where I spend a lot of time playing with my budding titties ;-) That ended up being more fun than I thought it was going to be!

Cheesecake Donuts

noreply@blogger.com (Delia) — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 18:00:00 +0000

Cheesecake Donuts

These are a few samples from a set I'll be posting in my Member's Area for an update tomorrow:

Some times it's a bit of a challenge having a "solo girl" site and still keeping things interesting, fresh and relevant. I try to mix things up as much as possible and provide some variety. The contrast in this weeks update and the past few is a prime example, moving from dark and voyeuristic images with a more serious tone to the bright and slightly garish cheesecake images with more of a humorous tone.

I'm actually posting these this week for St. Patrick's day. Not that donuts have anything to do with the Irish but it was the only thing I had with some green in it.

It was a pretty fun and tasty shoot overall. I got to fill a few donut holes and even put my special glaze on one. The only problem was having a bunch of extra donuts laying around afterwards. Not the healthiest of treats. We did end up throwing a few of them out, but not before at least sucking out a little custard cream filling ;-)

I'll be doing cam shows on Tuesday (St Patrick's Day) and Wednesday next week. So members be sure to check the schedule.

Twin Peaks - No Tell Motel

noreply@blogger.com (Delia) — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 18:58:00 +0000

Twin Peaks - No Tell Motel

These are a few samples from my latest update

We continued with the Twin Peaks theme this week. Shooting in a dimly lit motel room proved to be a bit of a challenge. We had brought all of our lighting equipment just in case we wanted it. But in this case it would have completely destroyed the mood we were trying to capture.

I really like the painting of the prairie home and rusted out locomotive. We were going to do some other things involving the creepy mask and wig, but decided to save that for another day.

It was a little frustrating finding exactly what settings on the camera to use for this dark and moody set. I know there are probably other things we could have done to make these look better but overall I was really pleased with what we accomplished.

**************

I'm not sure why but I tend to be one of those people who doesn't make a big deal about birthdays, anniversaries, or holidays in general. It's not that I don't honor those achievements or traditions it's just that I don't always feel the need to celebrate them. One birthday/anniversary/milestone that I do want to mention here in my blog before it gets too far behind me is the 5th year of DeliaCD being open to members.

I originally opened my site in February of 2004. Things started out pretty slow and I was (and still am) kind of learning things as I went. It was pretty slow going at first but gradually I began to build up more and more content for my site. As more members joined I was able to quit my "regular" job and focus more of my attention on the site. It has been really rewarding watching it grow over the years. Five years is the longest time that I've ever stuck with any sort of job, so I'm also pretty proud of the commitment that I've shown in sticking with it for so long. I sent out a newsletter last week with a link to this little page I made just for the occasion. I spent way too much time making each one of those banners, but it was actually kind of fun. Each one is unique and is made up of the thumbnails that I use to link to my galleries and video pages.

It's funny because in some ways I feel like I've accomplished a lot over that period and in other ways I feel like I could have done so much more. So yeah . . . hindsight.

Trixie wrote about a few other anniversaries that are important to me also.

Twin Peaks River Pics

noreply@blogger.com (Delia) — Sun, 22 Feb 2009 05:26:00 +0000

Twin Peaks River Pics

Just thought I'd share a few photos from my latest update. Last week we were up in Twin Peaks country and wanted to do some shoots with that theme in mind. The weather wasn't exactly what we had in mind as Trixie mention in this blog entry she made in our motel room while I was getting ready.

We didn't end up shooting as much as we had planned to for a variety of reasons. Weather was one factor and also some of the places that we wanted to shoot at ended up being much more exposed than we were hoping for. We did manage to do this set by the river with "Twin Peaks" in the background. It felt pretty secluded but there's a main road with a bridge just up river so I was clearly visible when I was near the water. Also, while we were shooting I kept hearing voices from the other bank as well as the whining of a chainsaw. Probably just one of the local chainsaw artists hard at work.

Overall the set had a really voyeuristic feel to them. At times it seemed to work well and at other times I just ended up looking like a total dork (rather than just kind of dorky). The sun was pretty bright so in a lot of the pictures I'm either squinting or my eyes are closed. This last shot is of me doing my best Laura Palmer blissed out dance routine.

We ended up doing more of the nudey pictures on the bank where we were tucked away a little more and felt a little more safe. After all, I wouldn't want to end up like Laura Palmer; washed up somewhere, wrapped in plastic.

Happy Valentine's Day

noreply@blogger.com (Delia) — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 23:55:00 +0000

Happy Valentine's Day
I wanted to be sure to wish everyone a happy Valentine's Day since we are going to be out shooting on location and may not be back in time.

We were planning on doing some outside shoots while we are gone but I'm not sure if the weather is going to cooperate with us. So we're keeping our fingers crossed.

This picture gallery is already up in my members area and I'm going to try to post the video while we are gone so it will be up for Valentine's Day. Also a quick reminder that I've got cam shows scheduled for Sunday and Monday at 5:00 pm Pacific time. So if you didn't get any action on Valentine's Day you can come by and get off with me ;-)

A Day at the Salon

noreply@blogger.com (Delia) — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 18:16:00 +0000

A Day at the Salon

So I went to a new hairdresser this week because I wanted to find someone who knows how to cut curly hair a little better than the person that I had been going to. I've been procrastinating a bit on this because I was totally out to my old hairdresser. I always presented as a female when I went to her but she knows that I am a transsexual so there was never any of the awkward tension that I sometimes feel when I'm around people who don't know that I am trans. I know it shouldn't matter to me what people think and I should just be myself, do my thing and to hell with what anybody else thinks about it. But the truth is I still get hung up on whether I am "passable" or not in social settings and how people are perceiving me.

I've gotten to the point now where I can usually tell the moment someone clocks my T. There's a certain look of recognition I notice in the eyes and face, followed by a shift in their demeanor and tone in their voice. The first few times it happened I think I let it really get to me. I would have a deer in the headlights type of reaction for a split second and then try to finish up whatever it was that I was doing and get out of where ever I was asap with as little eye contact as possible. It was an instinctual reaction that I felt at a gut level. At times I felt betrayed by my adrenal system. I could feel my heartbeat quicken and face get warmer as I slipped into flight or fight mode.

I know that reaction sends the wrong message to people. It tells them that I am ashamed or embarrassed by who I am, that I am doing something wrong and it probably reinforces a sense of moral superiority in some people. I'm starting to get over it though and slowly learning not to let it shake me or at least not to show it if it does.

So a few days ago I went to see my new hairdresser. I should mention that the woman that I was originally going to had her own shop where she was the only one doing hair. It was very much a one on one situation. The place that I'm going to now is more of a salon and day spa experience with multiple chairs, hooded hair dryers, a big washing and rinsing sink, the works.

Before I left for my appointment I was feeling confident in my overall appearance. I had a nice day look going on with my make up. I was wearing a tank top with a long sleeved shirt over it and a long skirt. Trixie convinced me to ditch the flats that I was wearing and go with my boots. I'm still a pretty self-conscious of my height and the boots add a few inches but definitely were a better match for the outfit.

In the parking lot I checked myself one more time in the rear view mirror before heading into the salon. On the way there a women stopped me on the street and asked me where a good place to get sea food was, so obviously I was looking friendly and approachable. Once inside I had to wait a few minutes for my stylist to finish up with a client. The receptionist offered me some coffee or water while I thumbed through some fashion magazines. I declined because I didn't want to have to get up and pee right in the middle of everything. Finally my stylist was ready for me and lead me back to her chair after a friendly introduction.

Nice, I had a chair back by the corner window with a great view of the water. She put draped the cape over me and attached around my neck then asked me what I wanted to have done with my hair. I told her and after a brief discussion she got started. She spun me around in the chair so I was facing the mirror and that's when my mind started in. I looked up and saw my big male face staring back at me. With my hair pulled back the overhead lights were glaring down on my thick arches of my brow bone. With the black cape pulled up around my neck my masculine jaw and chin seemed even more prominent. As the stylist started foiling in some color for my highlights we engaged in a little casual conversation but all I could think about was whether or not she had clocked me yet. I tried to relax and kept telling myself it didn't matter but it was hard not to wonder.

The conversation continued. Something about boots - did I say cowBOY boots? I meant to say cowGIRL boots. Oh dear God she must know now. She spun me around so I was facing the rest of the room. Two other women were getting their hair done. I suddenly felt like all eyes were on me as they sized me up. Finally she spun me back around. A minute later someone burst into laughter. Obviously someone had cracked some kind of joke about me, I mean what other explanation could there be.

Finally the highlights were done and my hair was ready to be rinsed out. As I leaned back in the chair by the sink I felt my neck stretch out while my head tilted back. I swallowed once and felt my adam's apple bobbing up and down. It must have been obvious to her at that point. I mean it was right there in her face. As I walked back over to the chair for my cut there was some chatting and giggling going on between the receptionist and another stylist. Again I was convinced that I was obviously the topic of their conversation.

She finished up with the cut and set my hair in nice curly style, all the while complimenting me on my beautiful ringlets. After sitting under the dryer for awhile I made my way back to the chair once again for the final inspection. She had done a great job and staring back at me in the mirror was my old feminine looking self once again. As I walked back up to the front to pay, one of the other stylists remarked on how beautiful my hair looked and even went so far as to say I looked like a model. I have a feeling they all knew that I was trans by the time I left but in the end it didn't really matter. I had the cut and look I was hoping for, everyone was really nice to me and I now have someone who knows how to do my hair the way I like it rather than settling for someone who I was unsatisfied with.

I know I let some things get to me that I shouldn't and I am starting to get better with it. I do think being on hormones has helped me feel more relaxed and confident. I still really want to have some facial surgery done soon though. I think it would do wonders for my self esteem. Until I can save up enough though I'll just have to get by with what I have and keep working at it.

Trans Vlog #7

noreply@blogger.com (Delia) — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 05:41:00 +0000

Trans Vlog #7

I've been making G rated versions of the Trans Vlog entries that I post in my members area for YouTube for quite awhile now. I've only posted a few here in my blog but here is the latest.

It corresponds with my last entry. They're not quite as interesting without the visual on my naked budding breasts but if anyone wants to see the rest of them you can check out my YouTube Channel and subscribe if you like. But if you want to see my naked budding breasts you'll have to sign up to my site ;-)

Laser, Orgasms and So Much More!

noreply@blogger.com (Delia) — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 18:19:00 +0000

Laser, Orgasms and So Much More!

Last week I had yet another laser hair removal session done on my face and neck area. It's pretty well cleared by now but there are still a few little stubborn spots that need a little extra attention. The place that I was going to originally closed their branch and the next closest one ended up being too far away, which sucks because I was suppose to get half off on follow up treatments with them. But I found another place near by that also does laser that opened up just after I started with mine. After going there once I wish I had been going there all along. They did an awesome job, treated me great AND charged only a fraction of what I had been paying. So I probably would be totally done with this by now and paid half or less of what I have had I been going there all along. Blarghhh!

So I've been on hormones now for about 4 and a half months. I think I mentioned before that I do have a better overall sense of well being. I haven't had any noticeable mood swings or overwhelming emotional responses to things but people keep telling me just wait, lol. One thing I have noticed though is that my orgasms are starting to become more intense. They seem to take a little longer to build up and come from a place a little deeper within me. When they hit it they seem to last a little longer. It's kind of hard to describe but it is a slightly different sensation.

I finally quit going to the gym. It was just getting too weird for me. I felt strange in the locker with my little budding breasts. I know I would feel uncomfortable being in the women's locker room this early in my transition. Plus most of the people there only knew me in "boy mode". I felt like I was getting funny looks from people too. Like they weren't quite sure if I was male or female. I know a few people there know that I'm trans and it's a small town so it's likely that even more people there know. I may still try to work something out with the owner but for now I'm kind of enjoying just getting some exercise here at home and being outside more.

I feel really good about having that last little "reason" for being in boy mode out of the way. It was really starting to weigh me down.

I'll be doing a cam show tonight at 8:00 pm Pacific Time on Rude. Hope you can join me!!!

Only in Brazil

noreply@blogger.com (Delia) — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 18:56:00 +0000

Only in Brazil
And maybe a few other places but . . .

I just saw this article about Patricia Araujo, a transsexual model who is a pretty big name in the Brazilian porn scene stealing the fashion show in Rio.

I've always thought that she was really stunning. She's one of a few Brazilian transsexuals that I can put a face to a name. She's been featured on sites like Brazilian Transsexuals and Shemales From Hell just to name a few and has been in numerous video productions.

I thought it was funny though how everyone is so focused on her being transsexual and NOT on the fact that she is basically a porn star. If this was a natal female model who was a PORN STAR I can't help but wonder what the reaction would be. Maybe it wouldn't be a big deal on the Brazilian scene but I have a feeling it would play out a little differently here in the states. Of course the whole thing would have played out differently if it were fashion week in New York. It will be interesting to see where her career goes from here. I wish her all the best!

Trophy Wife

noreply@blogger.com (Delia) — Sat, 17 Jan 2009 06:02:00 +0000

Trophy Wife

One of the things that I was a little bummed that we didn't get around to doing during the last marathon election cycle was to work in any politically themed porn. It seems like the possibilities were endless but somehow we never took advantage of it. So I was really excited that we able to work in this week's shoot before the inauguration on Tuesday.

We found this cute little trophy wife costume online and the shiny gold and silver seemed to be perfect for this shoot. Of course it wouldn't be complete without shiny satin gloves. And what sort of prize do I get for being such a catch? The Head O State!

It was a little tough fitting that thick bulbous head in at first. But with proper lube and a little determination I was able get it in and the nose and chin felt great coming out! I'm trying to get the video edited and posted for members in time for Inauguration Day. I'll also be doing cam shows today and tomorrow so it looks like it's going to be a busy weekend!

Full Gallery now appearing in my Members-Only area!!!
JOIN NOW for access to ALL of my pics & vids!

Upcoming Events for Members:
SHOW Saturday 5-6 pm Pacific Time.
Click on the Rude link on Members-Only page.
JOIN NOW for access.

2008 Tranny Awards

noreply@blogger.com (Delia) — Sun, 11 Jan 2009 02:18:00 +0000

2008 Tranny Awards

Well the results are in for the 2008 Tranny Awards. Although I didn't get a win this time around, at least I got an honorable mention. And to be truthful being a runner up to Tara Emory feels like a win to me. I would be lying however if I said I didn't feel just a twinge of disappointment when I first saw the results. I know I have a pretty unique site and I know how much time and effort both Trixie and I have put into making it the best we can. So, to me actually winning didn't seem completely out of the question.

Congratulations to all the winners, runner ups and even those who got nominated. I'm glad I got a little more exposure in the industry and some extra traffic to my site because of the awards. It's also great to just have enough fans out there that I was able to get nominated in the first place. They are talking about making it an actual live event next year, like the AVN's or GayVN's but specifically for the transgender community. I think it would be a great idea given the relative lack of recognition TS performers get the bigger awards shows. The trophy would have looked sweet up on the mantle but there's always next year!

noreply@blogger.com (Delia) — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 21:50:00 +0000

Hello Kitty
**I just noticed something weird on all the pages that I have a twitter badge on it is asking for a username and password. If you are getting prompted just click cancel or close out the window. Hopefully it will be remedied soon.***

I've just finished editing the video clip from my latest picture set. I did a shoot in these cute fuzzy Hello Kitty shorts.

The pictures actually turned out pretty good despite some technical issues we were having with the camera.

I was a little uncertain about the garter belt, stocking and legwarmer combo but I have to say I really think it somehow works ;-)

The video is pretty funny because we shot it in our spare room on the guest bed (Trixie's old bed). It's probably the squeakiest bed I've ever slept in. When Trixie and I would fuck at her old apartment I was sure the whole building knew what was going on! So yeah, I was also using a little hello kitty buzzy toy but it was pretty quite compared to the squeaking and creaking of the bed. I'll be posting the video in tomorrow's update.

Quick Overview of 2008

noreply@blogger.com (Delia) — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 05:51:00 +0000

Quick Overview of 2008
Okay, 2008 the good, the bad, the ugly . . . maybe we'll skip over the ugly for now.

On the positive side there are 2 huge things that happened to me on a personal level that will make 2008 a benchmark of sorts. The first one being that I started on HRT (hormone replacement therapy). The second was that I finally came to grips with my alcoholism and started on a path to recovery by joining a 12 step program.

They say alcoholism is a progressive disease and the further along you are the more difficult it is to recover. Also that no amount of sobriety will ever "cure" you of alcoholism. These are a few of the things I had to learn the hard way. I am not very good at asking for help in most cases. Most of the time I feel like there is nothing that I can't do on my own and by doing things without the help of someone else it somehow makes it all the more rewarding. Unfortunately I took the "go it alone" route when seeking sobriety, which didn't work out so well. I white knuckled it for almost 6 months before falling back into my old patterns of drinking. I'm just thankful that Trixie was there to shove me in the right direction when I needed it the most. Sobriety for me is indeed a blessing and my life is becoming a much happier place because of it.

Starting on HRT was somewhat of a bitter sweet experience for me as well. After trying to conceive for over a year with Trixie we decided to give it a rest for awhile so that I could start on the next phase of my transition. I did however store up enough sperm over that period so that we could have children together someday if we ever choose to. It's one of those things that may end up being a blessing in disguise in the long run. It was nonetheless a very frustrating process that was taking a toll on us physically, emotionally and financially.

One of the sad things I'll always remember about 2008 was losing my grandmother. She was a an incredible lady who raised 11 kids in an old farmhouse out in the sticks basically all on her own. Somehow through it all she never lost her sense of humor. She was a kindhearted and gracious woman who possessed a quiet strength and down to earth wisdom that I've never seen in any other person I've met. She will always be an inspiration to me. She will be missed by many for years to come.

After all that has come to pass over the last year I am really looking forward to 2009. In some ways 2008 seemed a bit like a stale continuation of 2007. Towards the end of the year though I did sense a shift, like things were all starting to come together. Like the pieces were all starting to fall in place. A sense and belief that things are going to get significantly better in the days to come. In a lot of ways they already have gotten better so in 2009 I'm looking forward to more betterness!

$Five4Friday$

noreply@blogger.com (Delia) — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 20:37:00 +0000

$Five4Friday$

Some of you may (or may not) have noticed that I skipped last weeks $Five4Friday$ entry. I've decided to start doing them on the first Friday of each month. I think every week is a little overkill since I don't post a blog entry every day and sometimes only get to blog once a week. I don't want these to be the only entries for weeks on end. So this month I decided to do a little retrospective on the blonde bob wig days.

A lot of people, myself included, really enjoyed this look on me.

I wish I would have had the foresight to buy a bunch of these wigs after buying this one. It was actually a pretty cheap wig and I didn't take very good care of it so it wore out pretty quickly. I've tried finding this one again but have only found similar ones that never quite worked for me.

The reason I started doing $Five4Friday$ was to encourage people to make a $5.00 donation or other small contributions to my FFS and Boob fund via Chip In:

Click here for more info on my Boob job and FFS plans

It's also been kind of fun for me to go back through some of my older pictures and look through the different shoots I've done over the years. The bulk of the blonde sets with this wig were in '05 and '06.

I did a lot of camming in this wig too, which I think shortened it's lifespan considerabley ;-)

So I'll be posting a bit of a year in review entry in the next few days but right now I have to get ready for a shoot we are doing later. Hope you enjoyed this little blast from the past!

Re-Schedule

noreply@blogger.com (Delia) — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 21:46:00 +0000

Re-Schedule

Just a quick addendum to the last post. Yesterday our internet connection went down and later our power was out due to weather conditions in our area. So we'll be rescheduling yesterdays cam shows for New Years Day. I'll be on in the same time slot 7-8 pm Pacific time. Today's shows are still happening if everything holds up. Keep your fingers crossed ;-)

Hope everyone has a safe and enjoyable evening!!! WOOT WOOT 2009!!!

Cam Show Schedule

noreply@blogger.com (Delia) — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 18:51:00 +0000

Cam Show Schedule

Just wanted to make a quick post to remind people that I'll be doing live cam shows today and tomorrow. I'll be on from 7-8 pm Pacific Time today and tomorrow from 4-5 pm. Trixie will also be doing her shows in the same time slots but on opposite days, so 4-5 pm Pacific time today and 7-8 pm tomorrow. In addition we'll be having a members only chat on New Years Day from 2-3:30 pm. If you're a member I hope you'll be able to come in and say hello. If you aren't a member than it's a great time to join and start the new year out right!!!

Christmas Cupcakes

noreply@blogger.com (Delia) — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 05:33:00 +0000

Christmas Cupcakes

I thought I'd post a few of the pictures Trixie took of me last night for a Christmas update. I think they turned out really cute:

Trixie was so proud of her little cupcake Christmas tree design.

Somehow we even happened to have a pair of panties that match the trim of the apron perfectly. It made us really appreciate having a deep pantie drawer(s):

I even got lick some frosting and get a sugar high. (Later on I also got to have some "special" frosting). I'll be posting the full gallery for my members tomorrow:

I hope everyone is enjoying the Winter Solstice. With the short days and long dark nights we've been having, I'm sure glad the days will be getting longer again. We've had a inordinate amount of snow the past week for these parts. Luckily we stocked up on a few items in between snow storms so we don't really have to worry about going out on the nasty roads.

Trixie and I are actually going to take it easy this year and spend the day together. So no family drama for us . . . yay!!! I know this is a tough time of the year for a lot of people. And with the economy taking a dump it makes it even tougher. But whatever your beliefs may be I hope you are enjoying the holidays and hope you are staying safe and warm.

$Five4Friday$

noreply@blogger.com (Delia) — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 17:34:00 +0000

$Five4Friday$

TGIF! It's another addition of the all new $Five4Friday$ where I post five of my pictures and encourage you the people to make a $5.00 donation to my boob and FFS fund. This week I'll be continuing with the Christmas theme bringing you five pictures from my Xmas Leopard set.

Click here for more info on my Boob job and FFS plans

Chip in is all about helping someone out with small contributions. I like to think of it like an office situation where they take up a collection for a fellow worker. I imagine myself sitting in my cubicle working away on a Friday afternoon. Suddenly I notice it's gotten quiet, except for a murmur coming from the break room. When I decide to go investigate I am greeted with a surprise gathering with cake and mylar balloons. A co-worker cuts through the crowd and announces, "We heard what you were going through so me and the gang took up a collection", handing my an envelope he says, "It's not much, but hopefully it will help out a little." Bursting into tears, I am then surrounded by a big group hug. Then everyone eats cake and gets to go home early. Awwwww. That's sort of how I imagine it anyway. But since I'm self employed and the only person I work with is Trixie, I kind of have to rely on the old chip in plan or wait for the right sugar daddy to come along ;-) So if anyone feels like donating a five spot for my cause it would be greatly appreciated! Thank You!!!

Crossroads

noreply@blogger.com (Delia) — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 20:37:00 +0000

Crossroads

Hormones! I feel like my body is really starting to feel the effects of being on hormones for almost four months now. It seems like there are a lot of little changes that have been happening at a really gradual rate. At times it feels like watching paint dry or something. Slowly breasts are starting to emerge from my flattened chest. My skin has been getting softer and smoother. My hair feels like it's softer, less coarse, and a bit more shiny. My ass is beginning to round out a bit and my facial features are starting to soften some.

I've also been having this strange sensation lately, like something is stirring inside me at an emotional level. I know it sounds a bit trite but I feel kind of like I'm just waking up after a long sleep or the fog is finally starting to lift. I'm starting to feel more in tune. Sometimes it seems like I can feel the estrogen moving through my veins and pulsing through my body. Kind of a faint tingling sensation that makes me feel like I'm more alive. I feel like my whole body is resonating at a higher frequency, where it should have been long ago. Like things are starting to sync up on a bunch of different levels.

When I first hit puberty and my body started cranking out the testosterone my brain was like WTF? It's like somehow the wires got crossed and my brain started to function differently. Parts of my mind shut down. I became more socially isolated. My verbal communication skills began to dwindle. I began to lose touch with my feelings growing more and more emotionally numb. I spent less time with others and more time on my own. My whole outlook on life was apathetic. I knew something was wrong but I had no idea what it was or even how to express what it was that I was feeling.

I know that puberty is a really hard part of anyone's life but for me it was especially hard. My parents could see it and were concerned enough to send me to a shrink. I only saw him a few times and never trusted him enough to talk to him about my crossdressing habits. I think I just thought he would blab to my parents and I would end up getting in trouble for it so I just told him what I thought he wanted to hear; just enough to get him off my back so I wouldn't have to go see him any more.

When I first starting telling people that I had started HRT a few transsexual friends said "Welcome to second puberty". I think in a large part this is like going through a second puberty. I also feel like the initial stage of it is wiping out some of the damage done by my first bout with puberty. Kind of like I'm reversing my male puberty while I'm starting my female puberty. So today I feel like I'm close to where those two intersect at some kind of hormonal crossroads. Like I've reached equilibrium between the amount of testostorone and estrogen in my body and now I'm ready for the second puberty to really kick in.

Of course there are other factors in my life right now that are contributing to this sense of overall well being. I quit drinking and started on a path of recovery from alcoholism at the same time I started on HRT. So sobriety has given me a new outlook on life as well. I also feel like I've been reconnecting and growing a bit spiritually which is another positive factor in my life. Overall though things just seem to heading in the right direction in my life for the first time in a very long time.

****

2008 Tranny Awards

Something else exciting going on in my life is getting nominated for the 2008 Tranny Awards. I just wanted to thank all of you who went over and voted for me during the pre-nomintaions. I'm pretty excited and honored to be in the running for an award in the "Best TG Amateur Style Website" category. Here's the rundown of the other nominees:

Jamie Cross - HotCross
Tara-TS.com
Aly Sinclair - Hotties Unlimited
The Crossdresser
Jamie Coxx
Krissy 4 U
Sexii Trina
Luci May
Zoe Fuck Puppet

It's a nice collection of sites. I was a little surprised to see some TS sites mixed in there when I first looked over the list, since they also have a "Best Solo TS Paysite or Paysite Operated by a TS" with the following sites nominated:

Latina Tranny
VickyRichter.com
Hotwendywilliams.com
Farrah Mills
Mandy Tgirl
TS Jesse
Kellyshore.com
SexyJade
Jessica's Diary

But they did include a asterisk with the following explanation:

* these sites were selected into this category and not the Solo TS Paysite either because the model wasn't somebody who mainly worked as a "porn performer" or it's a very personal website - most of the sites in the other category are aided by larger companies whereas the "Amateur Style" is also for models who run more of the website themselves.

Which does make sense since some of the solo TS models don't actually have much input into there sites or the sites are run big production companies with fat budgets. But on the other hand a few of the sites in the "amateur style" category do have other companies doing design and promotion work for them and aren't run completely by the models themselves. So I think they need to refine the parameters a little in the future to better define the categories. I think they are off to a pretty good start though, considering all the obstacles.

See all the Nominees at The Tranny Awards 2008