It's funny to me how I sometimes will get people coming into my chatroom during my group cam shows who obviously come in just to be disruptive. They usually say something rude or demeaning right away and quickly leave or I boot them out. I think other people come in with the intention of being assholes and actually end up enjoying part of the show. At some point they must get a little freaked out and are confused or feel guilty then they feel the need to lash out. I suspect many of them lurk around afterwards watching but not coming into the chatroom.
I usually get the standard attempts at insults like you're fucking sick or EWWWWWW!!! or WTF are you a DUDE? Occasionally people are hostile to everyone enjoying the show saying things like you're all a bunch of FAGS!! Even though I know there are females that equally enjoy my shows. Lately I've been getting a few interesting attempts that I've found particularly amusing.
A few weeks ago someone wanted me to show them my tits. Sometimes I'll just pull the breast forms out of my bra and flop them around in front of the camera just for a laugh. But most of the time I show my tiny titties off a bit and give a close up of my pierced nipples, which I did this time. The person obviously knew I didn't have "boobs" and wanted to say something demeaning about my flat chest. So they blurted out "Those aren't real!". I got a real kick out of that one. Yeah, these are implants. I was a little short on dough so I had to go with the micro boobies!
Then there was this guy last week who sat through the whole show and wanted everyone to know what a big manly man he was with a big cock built to satisfy. I usually wait to cum towards the end of the show (a little hint there for anyone who just wants to see the pop shot). So I got near the end and did a close up cum shot with my normal two or three spurts. And this guy's comment was "You call that a load?". Now, sometimes I do pvts before my group shows or may even have had sex earlier so I don't always shoot gallons of cum. But I hadn't done either before the show last week and it really was a pretty big load. I've actually become a pretty good judge of what a good load is from having my semen stored and analyzed at the sperm bank. The total volume for a healthy male is at least 2 ml. I've been averaging 4 to 6 ml per trip. Knowing what 6 ml of cum looks like, I would say that load was in the 6 to 8 ml range. Apparently it wasn't the flood of spooge this guy produces with his super soaker schlong though. It's the first time in my four years of doing cam shows that someone has criticized the volume of cum I produce. I guess he gets points for originality.
Speaking of cam shows . . . I changed the time of my camshow on Sunday to 2:00-3:00 pm Pacific time. Hopefully the new time slot will fit into members schedules better. I kept the Monday show at 7:00-8:00 pm but will be doing pvt shows before hand so members can see me earlier on our voyeur cams and I will bein our members only chat room.
I also sent out my bi monthly newsletter this week with the usual link to some freebies. I've gotton some good feedback from it. Hmmmm . . . maybe we should be doing some more strapon sex videos? I also tend to get a lot of email everytime I send out a newletter. So if you've written recently it may take me awhile to get back to you.
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Some times I really do wish we had the time and money to put together really high quality professional looking porn. By that I mean having a swanky set with really good lighting, a sound guy, maybe a camera man or two with high quality equipment that could capture things at different angles. Other times I just really enjoy putting together our little amateur productions for our members with their little quirks and foibles. There's a certain charm to our content and even a distinctive style that has sort of developed over the years as a result of working in our own little self contained unit. Something really personal, sexy and at times even humorous. When I was editing the half hour or so of footage for last weeks strapon video that Trixie and I shot there were things that thought were definitely hot like this:
Then there were things that just cracked me up like seeing Trixie's head pop up from behind me while she's working the zoom via remote control.
Porn with personality . . . you gotta love it!!!
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I love the amount of cross promotion that goes on in the world of internet porn. There are various methods like trading links or swapping content. Occasionally girls will get together and do shoots that each can use on their own site while also sending traffic to their friend's. Of course some people just like the content on a particular site and think fans of their site might enjoy it too. So they may promote it and make a little money from their affiliate program.
When I got a free promotional tank top from Shemale Yum (thanks Seanchai)I decided I would do a little shoot in it. Partly because it was cute and would be good content for my site and partly to promote their site. They are actually one of the first shemale sites that I ever joined years ago. They have been on the net for over ten years now and continue to feature a wide variety of t-girls from all over world. Not only that but the people who run it are good people, at least the ones that I've been in contact with. Here's a little sample from the set:
Some people even offer to make special fan signs like this one from Jamie Cox:
Awww . . . thank you Jamie!!! She really is a cutie and from what I've seen she has some great content. She also has a super nice webmaster who has helped promote my site in the past (thanks Vince).
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Okay, enough about these other sites here's a little exciting news about my site. Thanks largely to Trixie's efforts my member's area has an awesome new make over. It's much more sleek and shiny and easier to navigate with a few new added features and information. Also it is set up similar to Trixie's site. And since a membership to one of our sites gives you access to all of our sites it will make it easier to navigate for people moving from one site to the next. It makes me feel really proud every time I look at it. Here's a little peek:
Click for larger image
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But wait there's more!!! Trixie and I shot some really hot strap on sex video last week. It starts out POV with me giving her strap on a good tongue bath, then she bends me over the arm of the couch and fucks my ass for awhile. The grand finale features me riding her reverse cowgirl with a sweet pop shot! I'll try to post a few screen caps from it in the next week or so.
I'll be doing a softcore cam show tomorrow since Trixie will be ovulating soon. Probably a lot of dressing and stripping with a lot of teasing. We will be having sex in the morning so members can catch us on our voyeur cams.
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It seems like recently I've been having a harder time "passing", though not in the way you might think. There are certain things that I still do in "boy mode" more or less out of necessity or convenience. Things like going to the gym which presents a bit of problem when it comes to showers, sauna, steam room, and bathroom facilities which are located in the locker rooms. I'll probably drop my membership after I start on hormones and look for other exercise options. But for now I've just been going in my "boy mode". This is usually consists of a pair of pants, a T-shirt, a baggy pull over fleece top, a puffy vest, and a ball cap with my hair pulled back in a pony tail. No one there has ever said anything about my vanishing facial hair, my smoothly shaven legs or my workout habits which consists of cardio and lower body training.
So lately my look has been kind of a boyish/androgynous one when I'm not intentionally trying to present as a female (i.e. with make up, hair styled, wearing a dress, skirt, bra and breast forms, etc.). I don't know why, but it was surprising to me when I started getting ma'amed and missed and referred to with feminine pronouns much more often in this boy/andro mode. A while back when I was shopping with Trixie the sales person asked how us ladies were doing. More recently a waitress asked, "What can I get for you ladies today?" while I was having lunch with Trixie's mom and sister. A sales person at the local hardware store asked me "Are you finding everything okay, ma'am?" just the other day. The ultimate compliment however, happened at the grocery when I totally got cruised by a butch dyke in the meat and seafood isle. That one had me grinning for the rest of the day.
This all has me thinking more about passing/blending and the amount of effort it really takes to be sucessful. When I am dressed in obviously feminine attire I don't seem to worry as much about some things like which restroom I should use. And when I'm in a more androgynous look I don't seem to be as conscious about how other people are perceiving me. I think once I start on hormones my somewhat exaggerated feminine look will start to merge with my andro/boyish look and I'll end up right about where I want to be. I guess that's already starting to happen. I'm just looking forward to the day when insides finally match up with my outsides.
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I've been going through a little cleaning and sorting binge lately. I'm not sure if it's a spring cleaning thing or a nesting instinct kicking in or just a way for me to take my mind off things and still feel like I'm actually accomplishing something. Today I think I'll spend some time cleaning up my office space and sorting through some of the piles of paper that seem to be stacking up. There are a lot of other things that I could/should be doing but just can't seem to focus on. I feel like I've been really scatter brained lately jumping from one thing to the next without really completing anything. I think just having my work space cleaned up will make me feel more productive.
Tomorrow we're planning to do another outside shoot if the weather cooperates. Hopefully we won't have the same problem that we had last time. On Friday we're going to try to shoot some hardcore, possibly strap-on play.
For those of you that are wondering how the baby plans are coming along, we are still trying. Trixie has been writing more about it on her Fertility Blog. It's been a pretty frustrating process. With each passing month we seem to be getting that much closer though sometimes it feels like the total opposite. Add to it the fact that I'm waiting to start HRT until we conceive and it makes it almost torturous at times. Never the less we are pressing forward and keep hoping for the best.
Very Green and Kinda Blue I just finished posting my member's only update for the week. As you can see there was a bit of a St Paddy's Day theme involved.
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I was actually pleasantly surprised at how well this set turned out considering how terrible I was feeling earlier that day. I'm not sure what was going on with me but I was feeling seriously depressed that morning. Obviously I have a lot going on in my life right now which adds a bit more stress and anxiety than usual. Plus when I quit drinking one of my coping mechanisms was taken away and I'm still adjusting and seeking other methods to cope. I also haven't been getting enough sleep lately so that hasn't been helping.
One of the things that has been helping a bit is playing music. I forgot how therapeutic sitting down and just noodling around on my bass could be. I need to get a little practice amp for it so I can move around the house more easily and not bother Trixie as much. I hope to be able to get out in the yard a bit more this spring and do a little gardening. That seems to be another good form of therapy for me.
One thing I have been doing is exercising a lot more. That coupled with the not drinking thing means I've been losing some weight which is a good thing. Most males will end up gaining 10-12 lbs after starting on female hormones and t blockers. My goal is to lose as much as I can while still being healthy beforehand. This way once I start on the mones I'll be putting back on the weight but hopefully it will be in all the right places.
Anyway, I've been feeling much better these past few days. I think it was just a bit of a funk. I'll be doing my group cam shows tomorrow and Monday at 7:00 pm Pacific time. And baby making activities have been in high gear the past few days so keep those fingers crossed!!!
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My busy Friday started out with posting a new set of pictures in my members area. They are from our trip down to Portland. There are some really sexy leg and ass shots in this set. Here's a little sample:
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Friday was also photo shoot day, which started with an outside shoot of me in my black trench coat, boots, and bra and pantie set.
It ended up being rather windy out so my hair was blowing around like crazy most of the time we were shooting. It resulted in some of the pictures looking pretty cool and others not so much. Who needs a wind machine on set when you have the real deal. Unfortunately it was not a steady breeze and was swirling around quite a bit so you never knew when or where it would be coming from.
The other unfortunate part of shooting on a nice Friday afternoon in the park is that there were quite a few people out and about. We ended up getting interrupted twice and had to bag the video. Trixie was doing her best to deter people from poking their heads into our secluded little spot cutting them off and telling them we were taking pictures in there. It didn't seem discourage these curious folks from checking it out though. It wouldn't have been so bad if it were just adults, but there were some kids running around too. Fortunately we could hear people coming so I was able to cover up with my trench coat before anyone caught an eyeful.
Since we weren't able to get a good video out of that shoot we decided to do another shoot when we got home. It was pretty casual, just me in on the chair in the living room with my new Mountain Hardware skirt a hoody and some socks. At least we could control the elements and didn't have to worry about being interrupted. It ended up being a really cute set with lots of upskirt shots with and without panties.
All in all it was a pretty fun and productive day. Today I have my camshow at 7:00 pm Pacific Time. Trixie's period just started so I may end up taking pictures for her red site later on. I'll probably be on IFriends later on too for private shows.
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