I just wanted to wish everyone a very happy and safe holiday season before it slips by me once again this year. We've had our little pink tree up for a few weeks now and I strung up some lights outside. Not a huge display, but just enough to put a festive glow on the house. It's getting dark just after 4:00 pm here so it's nice to have some cheery lights on when it's cold and dark and wet outside.
We'll be spending Christmas with Trixie's family this year which is nice since they all know I'm transitioning and are cool with it. I have yet to come out to anyone on my side of the family. I'm hoping to time that with Trixie being pregnant, which is something I know they will be happy about. Then I'll just sort of slip in the whole trans thing . . . "oh and by the way I'm a transsexual." Not only do they get the great news that they're getting a new grandchild but also that the son they always thought they had is actually the daughter that they always wanted. What a joyous day that will be ;-) In the meantime I'll continue to play the role of son just as I always have.
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I really loved how this toe sock gallery turned out. I don't usually focus on my feet in most of the shoots we do, but this one was a feet-for-all bonanza!!!
Well it's official. My name is now legally changed. My driver license expires at the end of the month so soon I'll have a photo ID that actually matches up with my new name. The gender will still officially be male though. While changing ones name still remains relatively easy these days, changing ones gender status is a little more tricky.
Right now I am sticking with the M status for a variety of reasons. The most important reason would have to be that Trixie and I want to be married before we are legally the same gender. Although Washington is a fairly progressive state, the battle over same sex marriage is still very much in limbo. Right now Trixie and I are considered heterosexuals and "man and woman". As long as we are married under those circumstances then we have a legal marriage and no one can take that away.
It's strange to me that I could bank my sperm, have a sex change, change my legal gender status from male to female, inseminate my girlfriend, have a child together and still not be eligible to be married or receive all the recognition and benefits that EVERY OTHER heterosexual couple in this country is eligible for WITHOUT question.
So . . . this week I'll be skipping my live cam shows in order to save my "special juices" for Trixie during her fertile time. I'll be posting a few archived shows during the weekend to make up for it. Of course you can always check out how the baby making is coming live on our spycams too ;-)
Wooo-hoo!! Yesterday I got a call from my therapist saying she has written up my report and recommendation for HRT and can send it off to my doctor as soon as I send her the release form. It feels really good to be done with this initial phase and to know that I'll be starting another new and exciting phase soon. How soon is still a little up in the air.
We still have no sign of a baby and have started looking into banking some sperm. It's something we had planned on doing anyway, so it's not like an added burden or anything. I just might have to bank a bit more than I originally planned if we don't get pregnant in October. Hopefully my little spermies are active and out in full force. We'll have to see.
Today I'm heading down to the court house to file papers for a name change. It shouldn't be that big of a deal. I just need to fill out the form, pay some fees and go before a judge next week. The judge gets the final say in an approval or not. I know there are some horror stories out there about anti-trans judges causing people all kinds of grief. I haven't heard anything about our local judge but I don't expect any troubles. Keep your fingers crossed ;-)
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Bloggers Block I've had a bit of writer's block lately. I'm not sure why but it's kind of strange. I've sat down a few times in the past week wanting to blog about something and end up just staring at the keyboards for awhile, getting frustrated and moving onto something else. So I'm just going to ramble a bit in hopes of freeing up.
Yesterday was therapy day. I think it was a pretty good session. I feel like things are still moving a little slow as far as my transition is going. I'm still not full time and I'm feeling like I need to push my comfort zone a little more. I do think once Trixie is pregnant and I start on hormones things will start moving a lot quicker. We've been having sex as much as possible lately so hopefully we'll see some results by the end of the month.
I had my 3rd laser treatment last week and my face doing that funny sprouting thing right now. Once they zap the follicle the hair that was under the skin slowly and randomly pushes out to the surface. It seems to be the most stubborn around my upper lip and chin area. The rest of my face and neck seem to be clearing up pretty well.
I've also been letting my email pile up in the last few weeks. So tonight I'm going to spend some time replying to people. If you've written lately and I haven't gotten back to you yet, I will . . . sooner or later.
Whats Cookin'? I made a yummy dinner last night of quinao, shitake mushrooms and onions stir fried in a little sesame oil with sauce made out of shitake sesame salad dressing mixed with a little teriyaki sauce. I also cut up some rainbow chard and stir fried that with some olive oil, balsamic vinegar and soy sauce and topped it off with a bit of nutritional yeast. For dessert I sliced and peeled some yellow mango and plumcots.
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I was up pretty late last night putting the finishing touches on this week's update.
Full Gallery appearing in my Members-Only area with Friday 06/08 update JOIN NOW for access to ALL of my pics & vids!
Full Gallery appearing in my Members-Only area with Friday 06/08 update JOIN NOW for access to ALL of my pics & vids!
Trixie and I had a little meeting last week about what our personal changes are going to mean for our sites. We set up a rough outline of the changes that needed to be made and how we're going to adapt a new set of circumstances. I think we have a pretty good idea of where we are heading with our sites and are starting to come together with a common vision.
Last week I also sent out my monthly newsletter with my May Updates preview. I basically let everyone know that I was transitioning and that there would be a few changes coming soon. For one thing I'll be adding *another* one hour cam show by the end of the month. I'll also be adding a few hours of video chat during the week. So there will be even more personal interaction.
It's always a little exciting to me to know that my newsletter is sent out in bulk to thousands of people. I like imagining just how many people will actually be inticed into buying a membership. Usually the percentage is actually pretty low. I think most people just are happy to get a little free porn, nothing wrong with that. But I do usually see a little jump in sales after sending it out which makes it worth the hassle of putting it all together each month.
I usually keep the message simple and let the content speak for itself. This month I did add the fact that the I am transitioning and it does add some financial burden. I also added that if you are thinking about joining or have been a member in the past and enjoyed my site, than now would be a great time to sign up for a membership as a show of support. Personally I hate being solicited for money, even if it is for a cause I totally agree with. So I hope it wasn't a turn off for people or end up coming across in the wrong way. I'm actually pretty lucky to do what I do for a living and always thankful to those that have helped me out in one way or another along the way. Just getting some of the email and feedback from people has been really encouraging. It's gonna be a long and challenging journey and I'm glad I've got some good people out there looking out for me.
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"So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance." FDR’s First Inaugural Address
Today we are going over to visit Trixie's sister, brother in law and nephew (hehehe . . . kinda sounds like Twisted Sister. Dee Schnieder will not be there). They are going to be the first people I tell that I'm transitioning. I don't think it's going to be that big of a deal to them. They know I dress and they know about the websites and everything and they are cool with it. They have never actually seen me as Delia though. So I'm not sure what their reaction will be when we tell them that their son is going to have two aunties. I'm not sure how they'll react to seeing me in person for the first time either.
It's exactly this sort of fear of the unknown that has kept me in the closet for so long. Fear of rejection, of not being accepted for who I am by people that I love, admire, and care about. What makes it a bit harder for me is that I am also a fairly "sensitive" person. I've learned to put on a good facade over the years and I think living with Trixie has helped thicken my skin a bit ;-)~~ I think having some of the life experience that I have is going to make things a bit easier too.
And the beat goes on. These are a few sample pics from this weeks gallery. The pink apron was just too fucking adorable!!! You'll never guess where those pink latex covered fingers ended up either . . . well, some of you might ;-)
Full Gallery appearing in my Members-Only area with Friday 5/25 update JOIN NOW for access to ALL of my pics & vids!
Full Gallery appearing in my Members-Only area with Friday 5/25 update JOIN NOW for access to ALL of my pics & vids!
Upcoming Events for Members: SHOW Sunday 4-5 pm Pacific Time. Click on the CamZ link on Members-Only page. JOIN NOW for access.
