I've been feeling a little shift in gears in my transition recently. Kind of like I'm settling into it a bit. Like when you hit cruising gear after accelerating for awhile. Or maybe it's just 2nd or 3rd gear or something.
Once again this year Trixie and I attended a local transgender conference. The past two years we've only been able to be there for the weekend. We also were one of the couples on a panel discussion on TG relationships. This year it was just us and one other couple, a female to male (FTM) transsexual and his female partner. It was interesting to hear things from the other perspective, especially the shift in sexual identity within the couple. In some ways it was a reversal of what we are going through as a couple. Although Trixie and I both identify as pansexual/omnisexual so I don't think our own sexual identities have really shifted much. The way we are perceived as a couple by society has shifted though from a hetero couple to lesbian, the exact opposite of what the other couple was going through.
I also attended a great little workshop while we were there on feminizing your voice with Kathe Perez. Kathe is a Speech-Language Pathologist who specializes in voice feminization. I did a one on one session with her too later in the day which was really cool. Nice to get some feedback and a few tips and pointers as well as some take home exercises. She has a CD series, Fundamentals of Your Feminine Voice, that I picked up while I was there also. I haven't made my way through the whole set yet but it seems like it has some pretty good tips and exercises. I think it's really going to help me focus on the the areas I need to improve in order to have a more natural feminine sounding voice. Eventually I would like my singing voice to have a feminine ring to it too. I haven't been playing my guitar much lately because everytime I start to sing something my male voice comes through and it just sounds weird to me and freaks me out a little.
Speaking of things that are natural and feminine . . . my boobs seem to really be starting to shape up. This picture and the one up top are from my latest members update. There are some really beautiful shots in this set. We took them right around sunset so they have a nice warm glow to them :-)
A few weeks ago I did something not so good to my back. I'm not sure exactly what I did to cause it. I think I may have tweaked it a little when I was shooting a POV video of Trixie giving me a blow job. I tried doing some stretching later on and I think I may have over twisted or something only making it even worse. Our soft and sagging mattress didn't help things either. I was waking up in the middle of the night in pain and having to get up and lay on the floor in sleeping bag with my legs propped up. I finally got a sheet of 3/4" plywood and slid it in between the mattress and the box spring. That helped a lot. I've been doing a lot of light stretching and taking things pretty easy lately and I'm feeling a lot better.
The whole ordeal made me feel old and feeble. It really made me appreciate what it must be like elderly with all the aches and pains. It's funny how having your mobility limited can effect you mentally. It really put me into a bit of a funk.
I was a little bummed out the last time I went in for my laser treatment. They had a new esthetician there who actually worked at the old place I went to. So the treatment wasn't nearly as good as the first time I went. I made sure to request the same person who did it before for my next appointment coming up next week.
On the boobage front things seem to be going quite well. My breasts are continuing to grow and are still pretty sore. My areolas are looking noticeably bigger. I did end up taking my nipple rings out after going back and forth on it for so long. It is nice to be able to feel nipples without any metal in the way. Trixie has been enjoying them also. It feels incredible when she sucks on them and plays with them when we're having sex.
This is actually the last set of pictures I did with my nipple rings in. The full gallery is now available in my Members Area. I also posted a new video update for my Trans Vlog where I spend a lot of time playing with my budding titties ;-) That ended up being more fun than I thought it was going to be!
It's funny to me how I sometimes will get people coming into my chatroom during my group cam shows who obviously come in just to be disruptive. They usually say something rude or demeaning right away and quickly leave or I boot them out. I think other people come in with the intention of being assholes and actually end up enjoying part of the show. At some point they must get a little freaked out and are confused or feel guilty then they feel the need to lash out. I suspect many of them lurk around afterwards watching but not coming into the chatroom.
I usually get the standard attempts at insults like you're fucking sick or EWWWWWW!!! or WTF are you a DUDE? Occasionally people are hostile to everyone enjoying the show saying things like you're all a bunch of FAGS!! Even though I know there are females that equally enjoy my shows. Lately I've been getting a few interesting attempts that I've found particularly amusing.
A few weeks ago someone wanted me to show them my tits. Sometimes I'll just pull the breast forms out of my bra and flop them around in front of the camera just for a laugh. But most of the time I show my tiny titties off a bit and give a close up of my pierced nipples, which I did this time. The person obviously knew I didn't have "boobs" and wanted to say something demeaning about my flat chest. So they blurted out "Those aren't real!". I got a real kick out of that one. Yeah, these are implants. I was a little short on dough so I had to go with the micro boobies!
Then there was this guy last week who sat through the whole show and wanted everyone to know what a big manly man he was with a big cock built to satisfy. I usually wait to cum towards the end of the show (a little hint there for anyone who just wants to see the pop shot). So I got near the end and did a close up cum shot with my normal two or three spurts. And this guy's comment was "You call that a load?". Now, sometimes I do pvts before my group shows or may even have had sex earlier so I don't always shoot gallons of cum. But I hadn't done either before the show last week and it really was a pretty big load. I've actually become a pretty good judge of what a good load is from having my semen stored and analyzed at the sperm bank. The total volume for a healthy male is at least 2 ml. I've been averaging 4 to 6 ml per trip. Knowing what 6 ml of cum looks like, I would say that load was in the 6 to 8 ml range. Apparently it wasn't the flood of spooge this guy produces with his super soaker schlong though. It's the first time in my four years of doing cam shows that someone has criticized the volume of cum I produce. I guess he gets points for originality.
Speaking of cam shows . . . I changed the time of my camshow on Sunday to 2:00-3:00 pm Pacific time. Hopefully the new time slot will fit into members schedules better. I kept the Monday show at 7:00-8:00 pm but will be doing pvt shows before hand so members can see me earlier on our voyeur cams and I will bein our members only chat room.
I also sent out my bi monthly newsletter this week with the usual link to some freebies. I've gotton some good feedback from it. Hmmmm . . . maybe we should be doing some more strapon sex videos? I also tend to get a lot of email everytime I send out a newletter. So if you've written recently it may take me awhile to get back to you.
Upcoming Events for Members: SHOW Sunday 2-3 pm Pacific Time. Click on the CamZ link on Members-Only page. JOIN NOW for access.
Here are a few sample pictures from the gallery I added on Sunday:
Full Gallery appearing in my Members-Only area with Sunday 07/22 update JOIN NOW for access to ALL of my pics & vids!
I don't usually do a lot of topless pictures in my picture sets and videos. I think part of it is that I don't really have "boobs" (yet) but I do wear bras and falsies to create the illusion of boobs. So it seems kind of counter intuitive to take them off during a set and shatter that illusion. I know that's a little silly since every one joining my site knows that I'm a cross dresser and that I don't have boobs (yet) and I do get requests for more skin quite often.
The other obvious reason is the flat chest does make me look boyish, then again so do my rather broad shoulders, but not much I can do about that. I think with the right pose and camera angle though that it can come off more soft and feminine. I actually like my tiny titties and playing with piercings quit a bit, so it does make sense that other people want to enjoy them too.
Upcoming Events for Members: SHOW Friday and Sunday 4-5 pm Pacific Time. Click on the CamZ link on Members-Only page. JOIN NOW for access.
